Chihuly Garden and Glass. So beautiful! #latepost #chihuly #seattle #spaceneedle (at Chihuly Garden and Glass)
Haruka Nakamura ft. Uyama Hiroto - Faure
My favorite, forever and ever. I can’t adequately describe the range of emotions I feel from listening to this.423 plays
I had about a two-week summer break. It wasn’t the most adventurous vacation I’ve had, but it was definitely relaxing. I found myself at home the majority of the days, sitting on my bed and reading The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle and South of the Border, West of the Sun. As I was reading South of the Border, I noticed that in so many ways Hajime reminds me of ____, in the sense that they unapologetically hurt people. Upon completion, I found myself breathing more intensely. I don’t know, I think my heart sank a bit. Strange books, I must say, but I really enjoy reading Murakami novels.
I realized I don’t know myself much at all. I tried to imagine myself in Hajime’s situation. Would I leave my amazing job, amazing life, children, and spouse to continue my love for another person? He seemed to want to do it in a heartbeat. I don’t know what the hell I’d do. I don’t think I’ve ever had the capability of hurting people like that, but what if the situation comes up? I’ve always been faithful, I can’t imagine myself wandering away, but who knows — that could change with the flip of a hand. I don’t want to become that kind of a person; however, the circumstances might force me to. It’s frightening.
Anyway, other parts of my break were a bit more adventurous. My parents don’t let me go out late at night, so I snuck out and went to Guppy’s. Afterwards, I planned to go back home to eat our food in my room, but _ asked me if I wanted to go to the beach instead. I said no, thinking it would be cold and uncomfortable, but _ replied, “Well, we’re going anyway.” I couldn’t argue — he was the one driving the car.
I’m glad we went. The view was nice, with the lights shining on the ocean water and whatnot. The breeze wasn’t too strong, and we were almost completely alone. There was something comforting about the experience, but also something that was a little off. These past few months knowing _ and spending time with _ …. I feel like this is the relationship we were supposed to have. Not that I think I’m in love with him. There’s definitely something missing in our recent interactions, some sort of void (like a lack of romantic feelings). Going out to eat for dinner, spending time talking in my room, finally opening up about problems, driving late at night, kisses on the cheek. It’s… fucking annoying. It’s such a tease. It’s as if I’m in an illegitimate relationship, or rather, a cycle of illegitimate relationships, and I can’t get out of it. You have almost all of the circumstances necessary to create a good relationship, yet you miss the most crucial aspect of it. There’s always that void. I hate it.
I guess South of the Border also reminds me of _. I might feel just as Hajime did when he realized Shimamoto left. Was Shimamoto ever there to begin with? Seems like _’s something only I know about… but sometimes I have doubts that these interactions we’ve had even happened at all.
Still the best.
Torii of Itsukushima Shrine at sunset in Miyajima, Japan (by jaudrius).
Japan, I can’t wait!
Nike X APC
I am decidedly not a sneaker head, but black or beige suede A.P.C. x Nike dunks would’ve been perfection.
Daphne Loves Derby - Pollen and Salt643 plays
On nights like this, I love listening to this particular performance by Ryuichi Sakamoto.
My guess is that 2013 will be a year full of prayer and counting my blessings. These past couple of weeks I’ve been praying almost ferociously, and I would say that I’ve realized little miracles here and there. Well, just being alive is a miracle in itself because tomorrow is promised to no one. The goal this year is to change my mindset in ways that would affect my life positively, which sounds vague but part of the journey is finding the path.
I know not everyone is a believer (not saying everyone has to be), but things of beauty like the performance above make me think about the work of God. I was walking along the beach one afternoon with my best friend, barefoot in the sand near the water, when all of a sudden she remarked, “How can anyone doubt that God exists? Look at how big the ocean is.” Truly one of the most beautiful things I’ve heard.